The vileness of ABC's 'Shark Tank'

We here at A&G watch very little television, meaning we could easily go 2-3 days at a time without a TV set being turned on..

Used to be addicts like everyone else then when cold turkey for a spell and since haven't looked back..

It truly is a vast wasteland.

Thus one can imagine the feeling of dread when during a lunch with friends outside our vocation, it was recommended.. no, more like insisted we 'check out' a show on ABC called 'Shark Tank'

In this program, people with products or services they've created using brains and ingenuity seek out start-up funding or secondary capital from very wealthy people who create nothing and otherwise couldn't be bothered if not for their egos needing to be on TV.

Not quite sure why it was thought we'd be interested in such drek but the friend was so sincere in his insistence, we agreed we'd check out an episode.

Call it curiosity.. call it charity.. We couldn't get through one segment.

As we said a moment ago the show seems to work like this:

Creative people with big hopes and dreams devote all their energies to developing products and services they feel would be wanted in the marketplace of business and ideas, and thus a good livelihood can be born and take root...

Five extremely wealthy people perfectly representing the diversity jellybean spectrum:(one woman, one black, one Hispanic (slimy Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban), one elderly Montgomery Burns look-a-like, and one so well groomed and coiffed, we'd be shocked if he wasn't gay, sit on their little thrones like horrid King Tuts and pass judgment..

We could rant endlessly on this Needless push for symbolic multicultural representation on TV where it is manipulatively artificial and agenda-driven, but we don't want to stray too far from the real topic.

Besides television in the UK is Far Far more egregious..

So these five nobody-nothings who happen to be financial successes because they know how to skillfully manipulate the system and don't possess an ounce of business integrity between them sit and listen to each creative person present their best case for seeing investment..

Its really sad when you pay attention to the power dynamic or rather how the ones with the ideas possess little to none.  The creator stands -- the investors sit.  The creator begs -- the investors feel ego-stroked.

These individuals who work so hard to come up with business upstarts had to be screened and compete just to get on the show and then there's rounds or stages we believe..  The wealthy fat-farts could take it or leave it..

What's a $60,000 investment to a billionaire??  Take away 4 zeros on each end and its like you or we making a big to-do over lending someone $6

So this one woman had created a product.. we honestly do not remember what it was but we do remember she was very proud of it.  No one is interested in investing..

Then the woman begins to bawl.  These are sincere tears.  She said she put 4 full years of her life into making this product, choosing the right materials, etc..  She is shattered and as viewers with heart its painful to watch..  Ahh but that's Entertainment..

Then as the nice businesswoman is trying to compose herself, the wealthy female investor has a change of heart.. offers her $65,000 in exchange for a 25% stake in her company..  Gulp!!  

The woman accepts and her tears are now those of joy...

Later the Montgomery Burns looking bastard tells the woman investing she should have taken a 51% share in exchange and just bought out the other woman as the primary owner..  Double Gulp!!

The female investor expresses contentment..  You can just envision the old man having an erection over the thought of it had been him..

Gotta love the acumen of a business mind...

From there, the show got worse and we turned off the TV to the happy sound of lite music playing in the background and did other, more-productive things with the evening.

If the show had any redeeming quality, it shows viewers how cut-throat business can be.

People with no ideas and devoid of originality but very wealthy swoop in like vultures to take other people's dreams then crush them to pieces.

Sometimes an investor will ultimately seek and successfully buy the product or company from the original owner via a takeover..

Other times a product or idea will be purchased with the sole goal of killing it.. making sure it never sees light of day...  or to break up into many smaller parts to bring in greater profit...

Watching last night we had this fantasy daydream of sorts:

Thomas Edison was standing before these five greedy money-hungry bastards (actually more like 4 bastards and one bitch) and Edison is seeking investment capital for his invention.. a light bulb.

And these five rotten scoundrels are listening and thinking how they can exploit this inventor.  One says $100k in exchange for 70% share.. Another offers $50k in exchange for 50%..  In perpetuity..

And in the daydream, Edison listens, nods and smiles.. And then says in his own confident voice, 'F-U, F-U and F-U..  Have a lovely day...'

And that's how you deal with Investors.