Saturday, August 30, 2008

Rock On!! box office report

Rock-On-Farhan-Akhtar-Arjun-rampal



Rock On is doing extraordinary business in multiplexes. Well, you cant expect it doing great business in Bihar and East Punjab. But in Pune, Bangalore and Mumbai multiplexes Rock On, a movie based on ‘spirit of winning’ (just like Lakshya) has registered an awesome 85% opening. In single screens, the movie is not releasing at all, so spoilage factor is less and per screen return will be amazingly high.

I don’t have reports of how other metro and semi metro cities are doing. If anyone has any report of Kolkata, Ahmedabad, Chennai, Delhi, Gurgaon, Noida (should do well in Gurgaon, Noida and Chandigarh) do drop me a mail at krish dot b at gmail dot com.

Indian rock lovers will surely flock into the theatres. Add to that the novelty factor of Farhan Akhtar, a celebrity of his own merit, who has sung some great rock numbers.



Javed Akhtar is a proud man…his son is climbing one step after either.



Taran Adarsh writes

The tremendous appreciation as also the tremendous critical acclaim this film has garnered will ensure a long, successful run for the film. Given its strong opening and equally strong reports, a few distributors/exhibitors this writer spoke to were sure that the multiplexes would increase its shows [from 2/3/4 to 7/8] from Saturday itself.



Thursday, August 21, 2008

Colonoscopy: benefits and advantages of colonoscopy

colonoscopy-benefits-advantagesAccording to an article by John C. Wolf Associate Professor of Family Medicine Ohio University College of Osteopathic Medicine, colon cancer strikes about 30 out of each 100,000 people in the Northeast, with slightly lower rates in other parts of the U.S. About 130,000 individuals are diagnosed with colon cancer each year and more than 56,000 die from it.

Due to colonoscopy, polyps can be detected and removed without an abdominal surgery. Colonoscopy is much more accurate than an x-ray exam of the colon to detect polyps or early cancer. Frequently, polyps can be removed at the same time, a major step towards the prevention of colon cancer.

Colonoscopy appeared to greatly reduce the risk of colorectal cancer, particularly among moderate-risk patients.

What is Colonoscopy, definition, basic colon examination procedure

What-is-colonoscopy-definition-symptom

The term colonoscopy means nothing but looking inside the colon (large bowel) by a gastroenterologist or a specialized doctor from the similar field. This is the end part of human body’s digestive tract or GI tract. It begins its journey from the cecum that gets attached to the last part of the small intestine. It finishes its journey at the rectum and anus. The colon is more like a hollow tube, of five feet length. Colon’s primary function is to stock up unabsorbed food products prior to their elimination.



Colonoscopy is a safe, effective procedure that enables an the gastroenterologist (or a specialized doctor from the similar field) to assess the appearance of the inside of the colon or large bowel. This process can be accomplished by inserting a finger think (more or less) flexible tube into the anus. The process moves on as it advances slowly, under visual control, into the rectum and through the colon. It is performed with the visual control of either looking through the instrument or with viewing a TV monitor.



Sunday, August 10, 2008

Abhinav Bindra picture, photo, images gallery







President-Pratibha-Patil-PM-Manmohan-Sing-congratulate-Bindra
World champion Abhinav Bindra clinched India's first ever individual gold medal at the Olympics, winning 10m air
India's Bindra wins men's 10m Air Pistol
abhinav-bindra-olympics-gold-medal-2008


Abhinav Bindra strikes gold at Beijing Olympics in 10m air pistol

abhinav-bindra-beijing-olympics-gold-picture-photo
BEIJING: World champion Abhinav Bindra and a prodigy (but never got media highlights as we always were more concerned with Sachin and likes) clinched India's first ever individual gold medal at the Olympics, winning 10m air rifle event at the Beijing Games here on Monday.

25-year-old Bindra who qualified fourth for the event, shot an overall score of (596+140.5) 700.5 in a thrilling finale which went right down to the last shot.

Bindra's historic feat makes him India's first-ever individual gold medallist, bettering the silver medal feat of double trap shooter Rajyavardhan Singh Rathore in Athens 2004.

"He is the best shooter in the world and I think his is a morale boosting feat for everyone in the contingent," a jubilant Indian Olympic Association President Suresh Kalmadi said after Bindra's win.

In ten rounds, Bindra shot 10.7, 10.3, 10.4, 10.5, 10.5, 10.5, 10.6, 10.0, 10.2, 10.8 to clinch the first berth. China's Qinan Zhu won silver while Finland's Henri Hakkinen won bronze.

Bindra had shot a total of 596 out of 600, shooting a perfect 100 in 3 of the 6 rounds of the qualifiers. Bindra finished 4th to qualify 2 points behind Henri Hakkinen of Finland.


Congratulate Abhinav. He has made our country proud. Leave your comments here.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Google Adsense down and temporarily unavailable



I cant believe this. Google Adsense is down for maintenance and is temporarily unavailable. I mean Google products are also down for maintenance? I thought these kinds of stuff only happen with small websites, portals and companies. Google is also not above this?

It's showing the unavailability status in multilanguages

Mirror, wardrobe for a beautiful bedroom

foam-mattress-bedroom


Dresser and storage
Most astrologers and space consultants will tell you that a mirror in front of your bed is inauspicious. So, the designers now eliminate the need of an individual dresser and incorporate the full-length mirror inside the wardrobe. In case you have a space for a dressing room just before the bathroom, then you can add a nice dresser to the space.

Definition, Contingent and vested interest in transfer of property


In case of transfer of property, a person may acquire a contingent interest as against a real interest or vested interest in the property. The relevant provisions to this aspect are contained under Section 21 of the Transfer of Property Act, 1882.
According to statutory provisions, where on a transfer of property an interest is created in favour of a person to take effect only on the happening of a specified uncertain event, or if a specified uncertain event does not happen, the person acquires a contingent interest in the property.

Such interest becomes a vested interest under these two circumstances:

In case where on a transfer of property, an interest is created in favour of a person to take effect only on the happening of a specified uncertain event, then on the happening of the event.

In case where on a transfer of property an interest is created in favour of a person to take effect only on the not happening of a specified uncertain event, then when the happening of the event becomes impossible. The not happening of the event should become absolutely certain, beyond doubt.

Such an interest becomes a vested interest in the transferee, either on the happening of the event or when the happening of the event becomes impossible, respectively. For example, if A's property is to be transferred to C in case A and B die before the age of 18. In such a case, C has a contingent interest in the property until A and B die under the age of 18. An interest would be contingent, when some contingency is to happen before the person is qualified to take the possession of the property.

These points of distinction between vested and contingent interest need to be noted:

A contingent interest is inalienable. On the other hand, vested interest is heritable and transferable.

A contingent interest depends solely upon the fulfilment of a condition, so that in case of non-fulfilment of the condition, the interest may fall thorough. On the other hand, a vested interest does not depend upon the fulfilment of any conditions and takes effect from the date of the transfer of property.

In case of a contingent interest there is no present right. However, there is a promise for giving one and is altogether dependent upon the fulfilment of the condition. As against this, in case of a vested interest, there is a present and immediate right. Only its use is postponed.

In case of a contingent interest, the transferee takes an interest of a contingent nature, which may be defeated by reason of non-fulfilment of the precedent conditions. This is not the case in case of a vested interest.

It is to be noted that where, under a transfer of property, a person becomes entitled to an interest in the property upon attaining a particular age and the transferor also gives to him absolutely the income to arise from such interest before he reaches that age, or directs the income to be applied for his benefit, then such interest is not contingent interest.

Repatriation procedures simplified

With the repatriation procedures further simplified, NRIs and PIOs have every reason to smile while investing in immovable property

For Non Resident Indians (NRIs) and Persons of Indian Origin (PIOs) who are investing in immovable property, repatriation of sale proceeds and rental income has been further simplified and made hassle-free. The Reserve Bank of India (RBI) has delegated the powers to authorised dealers of foreign exchange to process the application and effect repatriation.

At present, authorised dealers are allowed to repatriate funds held by NRIs and PIOs in their NRO accounts for sale proceeds of immovable property held for a period of 10 years up to USD1,00,000 per calendar year. Further, authorised dealers were also permitted to allow remittance of assets of foreign nationals, including retired employees/widows of Indian citizen resident outside India and assets in India acquired by NRIs and PIOs by way of inheritance or legacy up to USD 1,00,000. The RBI has now decided to remove the present dispensation of varying amount for different purposes and enhance the overall limit to USD one million per calendar year. Therefore, NRIs and PIOs can now repatriate up to USD one million out of the balance held in NRO accounts.

Repatriation of sale proceeds of any immovable property other than agricultural and/or plantation property or farm house by an NRI or PIO is permitted without the prior approval of Reserve Bank if the property was acquired by the seller in accordance with the provisions of foreign exchange law in force at the time of acquisition or the provisions of FEM (Acquisition and Transfer of Immovable Property in India) Regulations, 2000.

Further, repatriation is permitted to the extent of consideration amount in foreign exchange received through normal banking channels or out of funds held in the FCNR account or foreign currency equivalent, as on the date of payment, where payment is made out of NRE account for acquisition of the immovable property sold. In case of sale of residential properties, repatriation will be allowed up to a maximum of two such properties. The limitation that the sale should take place after three years from the date of acquisition or from the date of payment of final installment of consideration amount, whichever is later, has been dispensed with.

In the case of NRIs who had acquired residential or commercial property in India when they were resident in India or inherited from a person resident in India, sale proceeds of such immovable property can be repatriated with the prior permission of the RBI. Similarly, permission is needed for transferring any immovable property if it is not expressly permitted in FEMA, 1999 or in FEM (Acquisition and Transfer of Immovable Property in India) Regulations, 2000.
Repatriation of current income

So far authorised dealers have been permitted to allow remittances of NRIs' current incomes like rent, dividend, pension, interest etc. net of applicable taxes by NRIs to the debit of their NRO accounts. The RBI has recently allowed the authorised dealers to effect repatriation of such income even if NRIs do not maintain an NRO account in India. What is required is a certificate from a chartered accountant specifically mentioning that the amount specified for repatriation is eligible for remittance and that applicable taxes, if any, have been paid for or suitably provided.

The RBI has also clarified that authorised dealers may credit the current income like rent, dividend, pension, interest etc of NRIs to their Non-Resident (External) Rupee accounts, provided they are satisfied that the credit represents current income of the non-resident account holder, and that income-tax thereon has been deducted / paid / provided for as the case may be.

The apex bank has further clarified that NRIs and PIOs who do not maintain NRO accounts in India and have no taxable income in India need not submit the chartered accountant's certificate for remitting their current income like dividend, rent, pension, interest etc. In case NRIs do not have taxable income in India, all that is needed on the part of authorised dealers is to obtain a simple declaration, in duplicate, to the effect that he is not a taxpayer in India. This provision is applicable in case of remittance of current income by debiting NRO accounts as well as for crediting current income to NRE account of the account holder.

What is Lease definition, Transfter of Property Act, lessee, lessor and transferor

lease-definition-property-information
Defining a lease, and an insight into the creation of leases



Lease has been defined under Section 105 of the Transfer of Property Act, 1882. According to Section 105, 'a lease of immovable property is a transfer of a right to enjoy such property, made for a certain time, express or implied, or in perpetuity, in consideration of a price paid or promised, or of money, a share of crops, service or any other thing of value, to be rendered periodically or on specified occasions to the transferor by the transferee, who accepts the transfer on such terms'.

Accordingly, a lease creates a right to enjoyment of an interest in the property in favour of a lessee. Unless there is a transfer of such an interest, there can be no lease. The transferor is called the lessor, the transferee is called the lessee, the price is called the premium, and the money, share, service or other thing to be rendered is called the rent for the lease.

The key points for a lease to exist include - a transfer of right from lessor to lessee, a lessee has a separate alienable interest in the property, the interest is in the immovable property, it entitles the lessee the right to possession of the property in accordance with the lease agreement, the right to enjoy such property is for a certain time period, and the right is given in return for some consideration to be paid periodically or on certain specified occasions.

The underlying principle of a lease is that it is the separation of the right of possession from ownership of property. The word 'enjoy' used above includes 'possession' also.

A suit for ejectment against the lessee does not lie so long as the lease is in existence. It is to be noted that mere personal right of possession of immovable property will not constitute a lease. The right to possess immovable property, which is subject matter of the lease, is vested in the lessee. When a lease is executed, the transfer which takes place is a transfer of limited right to enjoy the property during the period of the lease. The lessee has the right to enjoy the property but the ownership of the property continues to remain with the landlord.

It is to be noted that mere transfer of right of possession without a right to use is not a lease. Similarly, a mere right of enjoyment, without the right of possession in respect of the immovable property cannot be termed as a lease.

There must be a transfer of the exclusive right of possession of immovable property in respect of which the lease is created. After a lease is created, the lessor cannot reserve to himself any share in the right of possession .The words 'transfer of a right to enjoy such property' indicates that all rights of ownership are not transferred.

There are two modes under which leases may be made - they can be made from year to year, month to month, or for a term of less than a year. Leases from year to year include leases for a term exceeding a year, leases reserving a yearly rent and permanent leases. These leases can be made only by way of a registered document. Both the lessor and the lessee or their duly constituted authorities should execute such registered instruments. The instrument creating the lease needs to be properly stamped, executed and registered. Other leases may be made either by way of a registered document or by oral agreement, accompanied by delivery of possession. The registration of such leases is not mandatory.

Real estate and property market in 2009

What will the new year bring in for the housing sector? How will the housing sector scenario be in the year 2009 - will it continue the way as in the past or be different? Without using Tarot cards, we can try to find some answers. By no means, are these predictions for the year. At the most, these may be categorised as wish lists of the participants of the housing sector. Of course, one needs to factor in the developments in the housing sector over the last few months to make any judgement calls.

As is well evident, the era of soft interest regime is over. Although, the housing loan interest rates had fallen down considerably over the years - from 16-17 percent to 7-10 percent, the upward trend had started last year. 2008 saw a hardening of interest rates and RBI itself increased its repo rates. There have been increases in the interest rates by banks and housing finance companies (HFCs), both in fixed and floating rate loans.

As such, with increased inflation, the lending rates on loans also tend to increase. Inflation is affected mainly by crude oil prices and monsoons. Also, as the industrial sector picks up momentum, it may act as a competitor to the housing sector for demand for funds from the banking sector. At the same time, it is to be noted that banks are flush with funds, which means excess liquidity. This may dampen any move of banks to seek a big hike in the interest rates for housing loans.

Under the Income Tax Act, exemptions are available for interest payments for housing loans as well as for repayment of housing loans. In order to obviate undervaluation of property by the purchasers and to increase the revenues of the government, the stamp duty rates on registration and transfer of property may be reduced. And many state governments have recommended this.

Infrastructure development should definitely need to be on top priority on the government agenda. The focus of the government needs to be shifted to development of the infrastructure sector.

A lopsided development of housing sector, divorced from development of infrastructure, would be counterproductive for the housing sector itself. By virtue of its links with other sectors, housing as an industry has tremendous growth potential for other related industries - steel, cement, furniture, consumer goods and durables, as well as the services sector including architects, property consultants, interior designers, banks, housing finance companies and insurance companies.

how to make your bedroom super special

super-special-bedroom

Your bedroom is your haven, make it special.

Creating a niche for oneself in each room is a triumph of one's personality. Your bedroom is your haven, an extension of your individuality, stamped by your tastes, indulgences, personal preferences and comfort. A well planned bedroom effectively enhances space and colours. It can even alter the mood of individuals and rooms. So adapt the eye to varying experiences and enjoy the changes of one's own personalised setting that forms the hallmark of your cozy nest. Elegant, simple and comfortable, make the master bedroom your favourite retreat.

Airconditioner in bedroom, some tips

bedroom-air-conditioner

Air conditioner

It is imperative to maintain the right temperature for your prescribed eight hours of sleep. Keep the filters of your air conditioner clean to avoid dust allergies and service it regularly. It is advisable to keep plants out of the bedroom. They release carbon dioxide that we can do without. Also, research has indicated often times that it is not healthy to have gadgets like the TV or cell phones around, while you sleep.

Side table side chairs for bedroom

side-table-side-chair-bedroomSide table and chairs

A little glass table top with a couple of cushioned poofies or modas in a cozy corner of your bedroom, preferably facing the blue skies and the greens could make this an ideal place to have your morning tea.

Imagine not smiling to yourself while looking at your wedding or honeymoon pictures or even snaps of your toddler. The nostalgia immediately transports you to happier times and your mood is eased for the night or day ahead. The bedroom is the ideal setting to either have blow-ups or place little pictures in pretty frames by your bedside.

Sing is King box office: Delhi & Punjab shivering under mass hysteria

Sing-is-king-box-office-delhi-punjab
It could not get bigger than this. No faltu ka promotion (it was heavy no doubt, but no one claimed Akshay’s marriage is in stress because of Katrina), no artificial love story or break up, no accumulation of yesterday’s star cast, no six pack, the original fit, Akshay Kumar’s Sing is King is smashing all box office records with élan and ease.

I have heard that Sing is King is doing extra extra ordinary business in Punjab. It was expected but certainly not at this scale. I heard that the movie has collected 1,02,000 from its first show from one single screen theatre in rural Punjab. This is kind of unprecedented because no movie EVER has collected this much amount (or even 60%) from the first day from the same theatre.

In Delhi, the movie is going super strong. Many multiplexes has doubled or tripled the number of shows and still getting capacity. So, there is no spoilage factor, wherein houseful board for one movie leads janta to go for another movie.

Sing is King box office report: Mumbai rocking

Sing-Is-King-Box-office-report-mumbai
Sing is king (or Singh Is Kinng) is shattering records at cinemas in all over Mumbai city. On its very first day, that is Friday it has collected a whopping 1.13 crore nett on its first day. To put things in perspective, super hits like Chak De, Welcome, Om Shanti Om were also not able to collect this much revenue from a single day from Mumbai.

The movie has taken an amazing opening throughout India. From West Bengal to Gujrat, from CP Berer to East Punjab. It was kind of expected as people thronged into the ticket counter as soon the advanced booking opened.

My personal experience in theatres in Andheri is good. In Sun City it is running packed. So is Gaiety, however 24 Karat in Jogeshwari is not showing HOUSEFUL board.

Coir, combination or foam, get a perfect mattress for your bedroom

foam mattress bedroom
Use approved varieties - coir, or a combination of coir and foam. Go in for branded ones as the cost is worth the investment. One has a varied range to choose from in bedspreads and curtains - lacy, see-through curtains, or heavy drapes that keep the sunlight out during summer afternoons or even organza in all its vibrant colours. Heavy layers of drapes helps in keeping sounds low and in colder climes acts as a good insulator.
Bedspreads and quilts in sparkling tones and exotic designs are a must. Patchwork or embroidered patterns in shades of blues, greens, or even a stunning combination of black and gold, will add pizzazz to the room. Satin or even velvet sheets help in adding that extra touch of class.

Color scheme for bedroom, get engerised

palette-bedroom-color-red-orange-yellow


Colour scheme

Pale colours like beige, pink, mauve, greens, put you at peace; whereas the ones on the other extreme of the palette like reds, oranges, yellows, purples, energise you. At the end of the day, it is a matter of personal choice of what look you prefer. There are no rules here, just go by your imagination.

Why wardrobe important for a beautiful bedroom setting

wardrobe-bedroom

Wardrobe
Choose between metal cupboards or the built-in wood wardrobe. A young interior designer had inherited metal cupboards from her parents. She jazzed it up by painting abstracts in zany, whacky colours and that has become the highlight of her one-bedroom apartment.

Perfect lighting for a comfortrable bedroom

bedroom-lighting-perfectThe right lighting sets the ambience and creates the necessary atmosphere. Recessed lighting, especially near the windows, at two extremes of the room under pelmets, lends a romantic touch to the curtains, creating a dramatic effect. Localised lighting creates little spaces for oneself, highlighting the use of colour in the room. Avoid using tubelights, instead use lamps - big, small, wall brackets, lanterns, and antique-looking pieces or even convert an artifact with a shade to match. Adjustable reading lamps come in various styles and metal finishes to complement the decor.

The use of a dimmer serves functional as well as aesthetic considerations. Uplighters in wall-mounted fittings serve as beautiful accompaniments to other accessories strewn over the bedroom.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Sing is King movie n film review, sing sing bang bang


Towards the middle of Singh is Kinng, Akshay Kumar and his band of Sikhs -- played by Om Puri, Yashpal Sharma, Sudhanshu Pandey and Kamal Chopra, along with Neha Dupia and a contingent of scantily dressed dancers in feathers and pearls, break into the song Bas Ek Kinng.

The video of the song has been playing for weeks on cable channels and part of the preview of the film. But to see it on a big screen with the music blasting (as it always happens with Bollywood films), is a treat. More

Singh is Kinng movie review: Sing Song King Kong Halla Masti

The films rests on a very basic plot of 'Good Vs Bad', but the characters incorporated and the treatment given on a lavish scale is what tilts the balance in the film's favour. Also, you cannot discount the fact that Akshay is in his elements right from take one! There is some magic in his body language, a purpose in his every scene, and the desire to excel in every shot. He lights up the screen every time he comes on and spreads the energy like a virus. The man once called wooden I'm sure is having critics and producers who shied away earlier, having to eat out of his hands from a wooden spoon! SINGH IS KINNG is an out and out Akshay Kumar film. The support cast too is terrific; Om Puri Javed Jaffrey, Ranvir Shorey, Sudhanshu Pandey, Sonu Sood, Kirron Kher, Yashpal Sharma and Manoj Pahwa.

Akshay (Happy Singh) is one happy-go-lucky chap with a big heart who always goes out to help his villagers. Sonu Sood (Lucky Singh) another villager is a dreaded gangster in Australia. He makes headlines almost every other day. He is King in Australia and his cronies are his friends from his village Amritsar in India. Happy is forever putting the villagers in trouble with his 'do goo act'. Fed up, a few decide to get rid of him. They decide to send him to Australia to get back Lucky Singh whose ailing parents are longing for him. With him on this mission is his childhood friend Rangeela (Om Puri). How Happy manages to make Lucky and his gang of Sardars turn back from their evil ways is what the film is all about.

There's action and romance packaged to guarantee the best returns for you bucks. Bazmee excels on both counts. Somewhere in between is writer Suresh Nair's humour, which is the film's selling point!


Apart from Akshay, Sonu Sood commands a terrific screen presence. As the King, he marshals his resources well, even his half-blind brother (Mika) Javed Jaffery who turns in a good act. Om Puri is finally seen in a good role. He combines well with Akshay to give the best moments of 'laugh time'. The music is loud and vibrant, in true Sardar style and the characters, keeping the Sardars in mind. What's interesting is that every actor who is not a sardar carries off the get-p so well that it's difficult to distinguish a real Sardar. Full marks to the costume designer who has added colour on the screen to go with the vibrant community.

Katrina Kaif has not much of a role like Neha Dhupia but both the girls offer excellent support. Katrina looking gorgeous whips up some sexy dance moves with Akshay amidst the pyramids of Egypt while Neha with her saucy moves lights up the proceedings in the King's villa.

The first half breezes through without a hitch. Certain flaws crop up in the second; the loose editing of two songs, which appear abruptly between scenes and disappear as quickly, and a sub-plot, which could have been done without. But that is all forgotten in the din of the theatre as the junta go wah wah over their new King!

The North Indians are going to go ballistic while the overseas market is sure to rake in a huge turnover. An out-and-out entertainer guaranteed to bring on the laughs.

Eh picture badi changi hai!

Ratings : 4/5

Source: GlamSham



Monday, August 4, 2008

Skip Carey is no more, Skip Carey photo gallery

Chip-Caray-photo-imageLongtime Braves broadcaster Skip Carey is no more. He was 68. He passed away a week before his 69th birthday which falls on August 12. Sources from his home said that he went for a nap in his Atlanta home and never woke up. A peaceful demise without troubling anyone. May God bless his soul.

The son of famous Cubs voice Harry Caray and father of Braves broadcaster Chip Caray was not in good health for past one year. However, due to his willpower and God’s grace he continued calling home games for the Braves’ Peachtree TV and their radio network

Skip Carey who was drawn intoSkip-carey-young the world of broadcasting by his father remained as the voice of Atlanta Braves for 33 long years

Braves manager Bobby Cox said, "We've all lost a very good friend. For me, he was a good buddy -- at the park and away from the park. We always had a lot of great laughs. He will be very sorely missed." link


Braves President John Schuerholz said in a statement, "Our baseball community has lost a legend today. The Braves family and Braves fans everywhere will sadly miss him. Our thoughts are with his wife Paula and his children." Link

Caray came to broadcasting naturally as the son of Harry Caray, the former Chicago Cubs Hall-of-Fame play-by-play announcer. Skip began his broadcasting career at KMOX-Radio in St. Louis, Mo., as host of a 15-minute high school sports show and as a sportscaster for high school basketball games. He later joined his father as a colSkip-Carey-dies-picture-imageor commentator for University of Missouri football. Link

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Travel joke humor: Tell-tale talk

A woman in a hot air balloon realised she was lost. She spotted a man below and shouted, "Excuse me. Can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago. But, I don't know where I am."
The man consulted his portable GPS, and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 ft above a ground elevation of 2346 ft above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes North latitude, and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes West longitude."
She said, "You must be a Democrat."
"I am," he replied. "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But, I have no idea what to do with your information. And, I am still lost. Frankly, you have not been much help."
The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Republican."
"I am!" she replied. "How did you know?"
"Well..." said the man, "You don't know where you are, or where you're going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep. And, you expect me to solve your problem. You are in exactly the same position you were in before we met. But somehow, now it's all my fault. . .

Travel Joke: The Twenty and the One

travel-joke-satire-story
A well-worn one-dollar bill and a similarly distressed twenty-dollar bill arrived at a Federal Reserve Bank to be retired. As they moved along the conveyor belt to be burned, they struck up a conversation. The twentydollar bill reminisced about its travels all over the country. "I've had a pretty good life," the twenty proclaimed. Why I've been to Las Vegas and Atlantic City, the finest restaurants in New York, performances on Broadway, and even a cruise to the Caribbean."
"Wow!" said the one-dollar bill. "You've really had an exciting life!"
"So tell me," says the twenty, "where have you been throughout your lifetime?"
The one dollar bill replies, "Oh, I've been to the Methodist Church, the Baptist Church, the Lutheran Church..."
The twenty-dollar bill interrupts, "What's a church?"

Orchha: Legends in the wind

Orchha-Laxminarayan-Temple
Every stone in Orchha whispers tales of times gone by. We got wind of some of them as we explored the ancient city by the banks of the Betwa

ORCHHA reminded us of a princess who had managed to age gracefully. The little riverside town, 125 km south of Gwalior in Madhya Pradesh, was studded with monuments, grand and small, that showed the scars of time. Over the next two days Orchha would take us into her embrace and share with us her past: of a time when she was young and beautiful; when kings and emperors fought over her and adorned her with grand monuments that sparkled like precious gems. And she would whisper to us the secrets she had been privy to.

Indeed, Orchha appears to exist in a fairytale dimension, almost divorced from the rest of the country. There was a time when the 2 sq km town had been virtually swallowed up by the surrounding forest till it was rediscovered as a tourist spot. And she seems to revel in this new role, repeating the story of her life to each visitor who stops by her doorstep.

One of her favourite tales is about Rani Kunwar who had travelled far to seek Lord Ram's darshan. One day the Lord appeared to her in the form of an idol but cautioned that his final resting place would be the place where she first put him down. Immediately she set off to return to Orchha, a journey which in those days took eight months, even as her doting husband, King Madhukar Shah, commenced work on the temple in which Lord Ram was to be enshrined.
However, the construction took longer than anticipated and Rani Kunwar was obliged to keep Lord Ram in her bedroom. When it was time to shift the deity to the newly constructed Chaturbhuj Temple, the idol refused to budge no matter how many hands tried to lift it. And so it remained where it was in a small room of the palace which was then converted into the Ram Raja Temple. (The towering Chaturbhuj Temple in the adjoining compound stands empty and forlorn, seeming to wait for a divine guest who will never arrive)
Even today the palatial Ram Raja Temple is the bustling hub of Orchha and what is really unusual is that it is the only place in the country where Lord Ram is worshipped as a king and not as an avatar of Vishnu. That aside Lord Ram is a nocturnal visitor for here they believe that he resides in Ayodhya by day and sleeps in Orchha at night. Hence the temple remains closed throughout the day and the heavy silver doors of the sanctum are flung open only at 7 p.m. for the evening aarti.
We arrived just as an armed sentry opened the door with a flourish and the priest started the aarti with practised ease. The air was thick with devotion and the small knot of people started to sway and sing, moving to an inner rhythm and an almost divine frequency.
Another favourite tale of Orchha revolves around the Rai Praveen Mahal, a petite twostoried structure which blends seamlessly with the surroundings dedicated to Rai Praveen, the beautiful paramour of Raja Indramani (1672-76). The story oft told is that when Emperor Akbar heard about her legendary beauty, he summoned her to Delhi. And so the lovely damsel went to the Mughal court but once there, she conveyed her dilemma in verse which implied, who but a dog or a crow eats another's leftovers? The emperor got the message and let her return to her king – untouched.
The Jehangir Mahal is another relic of the Mughals in Orchha. The imposing palace, crowned by graceful chhatries, was built by Raja Bir Singh Deo in the 17th century to commemorate the visit of Emperor Jehangir to Orchha. And once the royal guest had departed, the palace remained unoccupied, languishing under the hot Indian sun like a jilted lover. We strolled through the monument that loomed above us, its balconies, grilled windows and stone elephants exuding a sense of sullen grace.
FACT FILE
Gwalior, 124 km, is the nearest airport.
Jhansi, 16 km, is the nearest railhead.
Pre-paid autos charge around Rs 150 for the 40 minute ride from Jhansi to Orchha. ST buses are also available.
Madhya Pradesh Tourism Development Corporation runs two hotels in Orchha: Betwa Cottages and Sheesh Mahal Palace Hotel. There is also the red sandstone and marble Orchha Resort CARELESS WHISPERS
RAJ MAHAL which stands across a yawning courtyard is equally imposing but less elaborate in its design. However, the palace that saw a succession of kings and queens preside over Orchha was the heartbeat of the little kingdom: and a hotbed of political intrigue, unbridled ambition, treachery, lust and love. The plain façade of the monument contrasts with the rich murals within… of Krishna and his gopis; kings and commoners. We wandered through zenanas that seemed to vibrate with the memories of gorgeously clad princesses blushing into their silks even as long-widowed aunts firmed up their marriages to distant princelings.
Leaving behind this world of nautch girls, pampered concubines and bejewelled potentates, we set off to explore the 14 cenotaphs of the rulers of Orchha, wrapped in an almost haunting quietude as they contemplated their reflections in the twisting Betwa river.
Sprawled out on the far bank is the Orchha wildlife sanctuary which once bristled with animals, including tigers, for the hunting pleasure of the king and his royal entourage. Today the sanctuary is stripped of its tigers and sadly most other game and all we came upon was a nilgai and her calf when we embarked on a safari that had all the trappings of a jungle book adventure.
That evening we strolled down to the Laxminarayan Temple on the outskirts of the town and admired its colourful murals focusing on both religious and secular subjects. As the sun slid off the sky, we stood on the balcony of the temple that commanded a bird's eye view of ancient monuments scattered across Orchha, and stories we had heard earlier in the day returned to haunt us… Of how a ghoulish hand, presumed to belong to the spirit of a two-timing dancing girl, appeared out of nowhere and wrapped itself around the throat of a chowkidar; of reed-thin rishis living in a nearby forest; and of star-crossed royal. By Jeru Irani